If you can’t answer these 4 questions, you lack self-awareness

How self-aware are you and how well do you know yourself?  Tasha Eurich, organizational psychologist and author of Insight, found that 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% truly are.

Self-awareness is knowing how your needs, feelings, and behaviors work together and being able to predict how you will respond internally and externally to a given situation. Self-aware people recognize their feelings and needs at any moment. More importantly, they understand the patterns of their needs, feelings and behaviors, so they know how they respond to different types of situations.

How much are you aware of the patterns of your needs, feelings, and behaviors? Can you answer these four questions?

1) What are your top core values?

It’s really easy to deceive yourself when answering this question by saying honesty, family, contribution, and similar values that are important to all of us on some level. But instead, think about what needs trigger your emotions the most and define your decisions on a daily basis? (You can see a list of the needs at the end of this post.) If you can’t give examples of how these values/needs play out in your life then they aren’t truly your core values.

For example, if you frequently feel stressed when you don’t have a plan for the short- or long-term future, your core values might include assurance and structure.  

2) How is your life balanced?

Our needs can be broken down into different categories: Physical Well being, Certainty and structure, Connection and Love, Respect, Self-esteem, Cognition, Aesthetic and Play, and Contribution. How much do you pay attention to each category?  How are each of these categorie balanced in your life? Do you have a tendency to value some over others? For example, do you concentrate on self-esteem (such as meeting your needs for competence and achievement) while paying less attention to your physical well-being?

3) What things are you passionate about?

Some activities drain your energy (even if you enjoy them) while others give you energy and engage you. Passion is simply a series of activities that draw you in, making you feel energetic and engaged. Don’t get caught up worrying about your One True Passion. You might be passionate about reading great books, or being with loved ones, or problem solving, or teaching difficult concepts to people.

4) What are your top strengths and weaknesses?

Don’t think about this in terms of a dreaded job interview question. Think about it in terms of the patterns of your feelings and behaviors. When you feel stressed, are you still able to remain calm and in control of the situation? That’s a strength! When you feel out of control of your environment, do you tend to be rude and impatient? That’s a weakness. Even if you know these things about yourself on some level, it can be difficult to articulate them until you’ve actually sat down and thought about it.

If you couldn’t answer some of these questions, you can take small steps toward developing your self-awareness by reflecting on your daily experiences. The more often you reflect on your experiences — writing down how an experience made you feel, what you needed and how you behaved — the more easily you’ll see the patterns that will help you answer these questions and become more self-aware.

If you are ready to start your self-awareness journey, try Inome app. Inome guides you through a regular process of reflection to develop self-awareness, discover who you are, and form new habits to design your life.


List of needs 

Exercise, Health, Rest, Sexual Expression, Assurance, Consistency, Control, Stability, Structure, Organization, Affection, Belonging, Companionship, Compassion, Intimacy, Honesty, To be approved of, To be recognized, To be valued, To be respected, To be appreciated, To be supported, Achievement, Competence, Independence, Individuality, Self-respect, Challenge, Communication, Improvement, Justice, Learning, Logic, Solitude, Self-control, Beauty (art & nature, Creativity, Play, To contribute, To support, To give, To protect


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